3 strikes rule of thumb to making adult friends
Adult friendships are tough because we aren't in proximity with another like we were in college or grade school, where we see people daily or weekly.
So it does take more effort, and thus need to adjust your expectations on how fast it will take to development new relationships.
My rule of thumb is 3 strikes and you’re out!
If I invite you to something 3 times and you don’t come AND there’s no reciprocal effort to reschedule then I just level down their friendship status to a “C friend” to better gauge my expectations on their intentionality.
Most of the time its nothing personal but life happens and I move on. Don’t burn bridges, but just realize that they aren’t putting in the same effort so go find humans who do put in the effort and you both click together.
STOP PUTTING HIGH EXPECTATIONS ON FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Did you hit it off with someone but they aren’t showing the same effort? Adjust your expectations as you’re still basically a stranger to them.
Is there a group that you consistently go to on a weekly or monthly basis to develop consistent touch points with humans?
It is pretty tough to develop a friendship on a first impression or interaction. Meeting someone once is a good touch point, but you need to see and meet people repeatedly, as it grows the relationship!
That’s why I like joining groups that do recurring events. The more you go, you start to see familiar faces and can catch up with them at those events. It’s slower and may take 3-6 months but that’s okay. You have the rest of your life to be friends.
Rarely have I ever hit it off with someone meeting them once. But when I see them 3+ times, relationship starts to develop.
Hope this helps you find friends
-Bo, Founder of FIND
Looking to make fun adult friends? Come to a Find Fun event or check out these friend groups in Indianapolis.
